Woot! - One Day, One Deal

Lunch Madness: Come Down With a Case of It!

Wed, 10 Mar 2010 14:00:00 -0600

If you're the kind of person who goes out for lunch more often than not, keeping the spark going can be a real chore. Sure, that burger place across the street from the office is something you know. It's comfortable, but maybe it's too comfortable. You could strike out on your own for something exotic, but you just had Indian on Tuesday. Tacos would be good, but then you'll be burping all afternoon. Eventually the blur of fast food joints gets to be so overwhelming that you simply trudge off to that old, reliable burger joint like a spouse faithful only because of their inability to attract the opposite sex.

No longer, hungry readers.

We at the Woot offices have implemented our patented LUNCH MADNESS! bracket system. By categorizing the majority of fast food chains into regions according to their state of origin/headquarters, we've made lunch fun again! You'll spend hours you should be working calculating with cold and relentless logic where you'll be eating today!

For each pairing, just ask yourself, "Where would I rather eat?" Sure, you may say you're sick of sub sandwiches, but a hoagie doesn't sound so bad when compared to fried chicken! Or maybe it does. The choice is yours!

We've taken the nebulous cloud of multiple options and whittled it down into one winner-take-all tournament for your stomach's third-highest honor: lunch.

Is it flawed? Sure; being nowhere near California we don't get to eat a lot of In-N-Out, but we like that the option's there. Kinda like the BCS.

Print some copies up, pass them around the office, heck you can even scratch out our choices and add your own selections!

So, uh, where we goin' for lunch?

Black And White And Bred All Over: Woot Weads The Wire

Wed, 10 Mar 2010 12:00:00 -0600

Every week in this space, we’ll take a look at the news and offer our own incisive blend of commentary, analysis, and poop jokes. The news you need, from a voice you can trust, in the 90 seconds you have to spare: that’s Woot Weads the Wire.

NEW YORK (UPI) -- Lindsay Lohan has filed a $100 million lawsuit in New York's Nassau County Supreme Court, claiming an E-Trade commercial features a baby modeled after her.

Experts say this suit puts E-Trade in a clever bind, because if they actually respond by calling Lindsay Lohan a stupid, self-centered know-nothing idiot baby, then their answer can be used against them in court.

BASINGSTOKE, England (UPI) -- A British man said his girlfriend accepted the video marriage proposal he arranged to have screened before a showing of "Avatar" at his local movie theater.

In a related story, cam-quality copies of the proposal have been released on every major torrent site, but purists are still waiting for the DVD rip.

LONDON (UPI) -- A toy company is marketing a product in Britain that allows canine owners to receive communications from their dogs via social networking site Twitter.

The toy will have 500 pre-loaded messages, including "Bark!" and "Arf!" and "@woot lol so true visit my website okay" and "Hey, is this you? http://tinyurl.com/5u5p1c10u5l1nk"

YORK, England (UPI) -- British scientists say they've discovered a mechanism that might lead to a new way of converting wood and straw into liquid biofuels.

On this heels of this news, frightened little pigs huddled together in houses of brick, praying for their safety.

WASHINGTON (UPI) -- Officials at Washington's National Zoo said female panda Mei Xiang showed no signs of pregnancy during an ultrasound exam Monday but it may be too soon to tell.

The situation is described as utter pandamonium.

URBANA, Ill. (UPI) -- An apple a day may indeed keep the doctor away by reducing inflammation associated with obesity-related diseases, U.S. researchers say.

U.S. marketers say that this new slogan will never catch on.

SPARTANBURG, S.C. (UPI) -- U.S. scientists say they've discovered crickets are able to warn their unborn babies about predator threats.

The newly released findings have Hollywood considering an entry into the potentially lucrative sci-fi/action cricket market.

Woot Videos Captioned: Relax a Little Incident

Wed, 10 Mar 2010 08:00:00 -0600

Google’s old motto: Don’t be evil. The new one: Don’t speak English.

If you thought the main problem with our “Real Actual Field Test” videos was that they made too much sense, you’re in luck. Now you can watch them with the sound off, reading along with subtitles provided by “Transcribe Audio,” a feature in beta testing that uses Google’s speech recognition technologies to automatically caption YouTube videos. The results? Pure Dada.

YouTube, we want to ask, DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE WORDS THAT ARE COMING OUT OF OUR NARRATOR’S MOUTH? The answer: Enh, some of them...

We’d estimate Google’s software correctly interprets somewhere between a third and half of the words in our video voiceovers. From a programming standpoint, that’s pretty impressive! From a comprehensibility standpoint, it’s total gibberish.

Watch our most recent Real Actual Field Test (number five), and see if you can follow along with the transcript pasted below.

My personal favorite part of this transcript comes during the scene where our Air Hogs Switchblade fails to launch correctly and whacks our cameraman Kevin. To my ear, it sounds like he says “Argh! Ow, man!” But Google hears it as “I health plan.” Oddly appropriate.

BEGIN TRANSCRIPT

welcome to real action in field tests which relax a little incident

today we’re testing the spin master bear hugs switch weight remote aircraft are flying sort of that around and look in vain I was on it

what’s distinctive about this contraption is the way you can configure it flight either like a plane what would the twist suggesting like so of for the gate US troops died

here’s a look at it for nineteen US own mother

what happened

pretty cool it’s been this the numbers like so

an extension in the years the more conventional airplane note as you can see defies more or less street and I do to treat

how does this happen there’s like one tree in our old Texas sized parking lot and you fly straight

anyway it’s kind of hard to capture this home video but you can actually transform the thing from one vote to the other in midair we need to do a vertical takeoff from the launch pad US automotive and then shifted airplane noted and out come on he has to be done on purpose

here’s what it looks like we need more it from you have those we noted be made flight as you can the DC- it’s whirling around there

that’s fine your plan

in fairly shows upcoming this was a good flight down not that you can tell from my the footage

you can see you see it

the little things

the sky

not really

well it’s up there take my word for it I guess

ladies and gentlemen reached our scouts later on may six that’s because the nazis past that’s really all time in again yes

we also get it right indoors just doesn’t crazy it going to work toward really because it doesn’t do all that well you know very much wind but you have to have high ceilings so we recommend %uh how much he’ll win house or maybe a gothic style

also supposedly or as we say on the internet supposedly this which played the flyers best they can for just a couple of forty five degrees fahrenheit so when we got a nicer day we do that for a second afternoon of testing in the interest of science and also to get out of the meeting we have that changes to the capital plan laurin

I don’t know if the second day of tests like to really yielded all that much more information get captured some pretty good idea with this failed launch the air travelers

health plan

like I said we didn’t notice a huge difference in the handling from one day to the next summit the air temperature difference just wasn’t extreme enough but we did

oh for crying out loud

you guys are I mean the big do you not see them johnnie green things sticking around it’s not like the sport and for me

yes sir I don’t understand half we we have all this space right everybody at work with his charlie brown could cut all of a sudden

ridiculous

all right all in all we had a pretty good time playing with us which way at least one word can you not the truth and finally when we don’t have to admit at least it back into the wild

we know it was the right thing to do but you know that doesn’t mean we didn’t get choked up as did you want to listen he say about that in the country

so you’re seventy five this information helpful and we’ll see you next time for now the one who’s real actual field tests

END TRANSCRIPT

Thanks, Google! A huge improvement on the original!

So how about you? Happened across any amusingly shoddy automatic captions we should see?

TiVo Series 3 High Definition 250GB THX Certified DVR - $169.99

Woot — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 00:00:02 -0600

I’m Never Going Back To Our Regularly Scheduled Programming

At last, I can watch my favorite commercials without sitting through all those annoying shows.

Concise storytelling. Striking visuals. Hapless, overfed man-children in comical situations. These are the things I love about television – or rather, used to love about television, before it turned into a cheapo cesspool of “reality” freakshows. Nowadays, the real artistry comes in thirty-second chunks. Turns out that soda companies, breweries, car-insurance firms, and fast-food chains are the only entities left with enough money to make anything worth watching.

And I’ll be watching, believe me, with this TiVo Series 3 HD THX Certified DVR. How satisfying it is to fast-forward past Bret Michaels and Simon Cowell to get to the latest humorous vignette about that scamp Jack in the Box. This TiVo’s 250GB hard drive can store approximately a hella-ton of commercials for savoring over and over. I’ve practically worn out the pause button examining the mise-en-scene of that Dr. Pepper commercial with the midget KISS impersonators. Eat your heart out, Fellini.

Even better, this TiVo Series 3 HD DVR doubles as a YouTube player (with a home network with Internet access). Have you ever seen how many commercials are on that site? I could literally watch them until the sun expands and engulfs the Earth in flames, without ever repeating one. It also streams Netflix, Blockbuster, and Amazon video, but until they offer more commercials, I’m not interested.

First, though, I had to have 2 CableCARDs installed so my TiVo Series 3 DVR could handle digital and HD cable. You’ll want to check with your cable provider first, because many of them require that the cards be installed by their technicians. If you’re lucky, while you’re on hold, you’ll get to listen to commercials for the cable company. I love radio commercials even more than TV commercials because they have to be twice as aggravating to make up for the lack of video.

I really only have one complaint: TiVo, can you exert your influence to require broadcasters to devote more time to commercials? Even on the most ad-heavy cable channels (I love you, TV Land), there’s still 40 or more minutes of programming every hour. This shocking imbalance means important voices are not being heard. Somewhere out there, some scrappy young filmmaker is coming up with the next “smunchy” or “wazzzup”, and I want to see it. Over and over and over.

Authorized for SquareTrade Extended Warranty

Warranty:

90 Day TiVo Labor
1 Year TiVo Parts

Features:

Control Live TV - Record, Play, Pause, Rewind, Skip Ahead, & Slow-Motion with razor-sharp HD clarity
Season Pass Recordings – Record every new episode of your favorite show
BLOCKBUSTER On Demand – Browse and rent the movies you want to see from the comfort and convenience of home
Amazon Video on Demand – Download movies and TV shows directly to your TiVo box
Netflix – Stream a library of 17,000 movie titles and TV shows through Netflix’s Watch Instantly Service (with a Netflix unlimited membership)
YouTube Videos – Watch millions of YouTube videos directly on your TV
Rhapsody – Access 4 million songs in your living room with a subscription to the Rhapsody service
Online Scheduling and TiVo Mobile – Schedule last minute recordings from a PC or a cell phone
Home Media Features – Access internet radio, podcasts, movie times & tickets, and digital photos & mp3 music files on your TV
TiVo Search (an exclusive TiVo feature) – Use this powerful internet based tool for search and discovery of broadcast and broadband programming content
Multi-Room Viewing – Start watching your favorite show in the living room and finish it in the bedroom
TiVoToGo – Fill your iPod mobile digital device or other portable media device with movies and TV shows for free!
Internet Video Downloads – News, sports, weather, technology, music, education, and more sent directly to your broadband-connected TiVo DVR–free of charge
250GB of disc capacity for 300 hours of standard recording time or up to 32 in HD
Expandable Storage – Increase storage capacity with TiVo Verified external eSATA storage available from Western Digital
Dimensions: 12.6" (D) X 3.3" (H) X 16.5" (W)
Weight: 13 lbs.

Specifications:

Surround Modes: THX
Compatible Formats: 720p, 480p, 480i, 1080i
Remote Control: Illuminated Full Function IR 36 Button
Tuner: (2) CableCard, ATSC

Inputs and Outputs:

2 CableCard Card Slots
1 Rear HDMI Output
1 Rear Optical Output
2 Rear RF Inputs
1 Rear RJ45 Ethernet In/Out
1 Rear SATA IN/Out
1 Rear RJ11 (Telephone Line) In/Out
1 Rear Analog Audio/Video Output
1 Rear Component Video Outpuut
1 Rear S-Video Output
2 Rear USB Port In/Out

Additional Photos:

In the box:

TiVo Series 3 HD THX Certified 250GB DVR
Remote Control
Users Guide
Composite Cable
Component Cable
HDMI Cable
Phone Cable
Phone Splitter
Coax Cable
Power Cable
4 AAA Batteries

TiVo® service is required for the TiVo DVR to function and is sold separately. TiVo service and payment are subject to the terms and conditions available at www.tivo.com.

TiVo service is accessed through a standard telephone line or broadband connection. In some areas, local and long-distance toll charges may apply.

Considerations:

Certain features require a wired or wireless home network with Internet access (wireless home network connection requires the purchase of a separate TiVo Wireless Adapter)
A TiVo Series3 DVR requires CableCARD™s (provided by cable operator) to work with Digital and HD Cable
To receive two digital cable channels at the same time and record up to two channels simultaneously, the TiVo HD DVR requires the installation and activation of either two (2) Multi-Stream CableCARDs (M-Card) or two (2) Single-Stream CableCARDs (S-Card)
Many cable companies require the CableCARDs to be installed by their technicians
Supports virtually all cable operators, Verizon FiOS, and ATSC antenna
Does not support satellite service, AT&T U-verse, or cable Video On Demand

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Price: $169.99

I want one!

Spice Up Your Recipes With These Surprising Flavor Pairings!

Tue, 09 Mar 2010 16:20:00 -0600

Cinnamon and marinara sauce
French fries and chocolate milkshakes
Hamburgers and velvet
Sun-dried tomatoes and the tears of orphans
Bread pudding and the music of Joanna Newsom
Zima and that clown from your birthday party
Lamb shanks and my father's disappointment
Melted gouda and Han Solo action figures (original or Hoth)
The oral history of the Underground Railroad and the color teal
Those old aluminum swimming pools and socialism
LASIK surgery and your first crush
Sandy Nelson's "Live! In Las Vegas" and a single grain of sand
International test cricket and sneezing
A savage wildcat and the aroma of melted butter
Ambergris and the complete works of Jean-Baptiste-Siméon Chardin
B flat above High C and "Punchy" from Hawaiian Punch
Jai-alai and 1-1/4" galvanized roofing nails
Deal-a-day web commerce and a recording of Carol Burnett saying the word "moist"
Mango and chili peppers

Woot Watches Wideos: Logorama

Tue, 09 Mar 2010 13:30:00 -0600

The below video is a tad NSFW due to language and slightly adult content, but if you haven't seen this year's Oscar-winning animated short Logorama yet, give this a click. Watch as a Los Angeles made up entirely of corporate logos and mascots EXPLODES before your very eyes. You know, when you get home and maybe after you've put the kids to bed.

We here at Woot feel only slightly snubbed by the exclusion of our iconic Exclamation Point, but we'll let it slide. Hopefully, their people can do lunch with our people and get us a spot in the sequel. Don't forget to show the directors a little monetary love by buying it on iTunes.

As seen on Filmdrunk.

Stanley 3-in-1 Tripod Flashlight with Mini-Tripod Keychain 2-Pack

Woot — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 00:00:02 -0600

Oooh, Father-in-Law’s birthday?

I’ve got the perfect gift.

I’m serious; hear me out. A Stanley 3-in-1 Tripod Flashlight with Mini-Tripod Keychain is the perfect gift for an older male in your life who you don’t really know all that well yet but with whom you are forced to awkwardly converse and spend extended periods of time with around the holidays. It’s not like you don’t like the guy; you just don’t know the guy. Hence, an awesome flashlight setup with a tripod.

Your father-in-law’s an accountant? So what? Mine’s got a Doctorate in Organic Chemistry and he captains his own fishing boat. You think I’m ever going to come up with something to impress HIM? No way. But I can get him something useful that he’ll appreciate.

Yeah. Fishing boat. Like “Deadliest Catch.” Back on track, James.

It’s got three independent flashlights, but you can Voltron it up good and nice and make one super duper flashlight with a brightness of 60 lumens. I don’t care what he does or who he is, at some point his power’s going to go out or he’s going to go camping or he’ll need a source of light in an otherwise dark place.

Then he’ll just flick that baby on, smile to himself, and say, “Y’know what. That guy shackin’ up with my little princess might not be such a colossal screw-up after all.”

Warranty: Lifetime Stanley

Features:

Stanley 3-in-1 Tripod Flashlight:

Patented hands free tripod design
Separates into 3 independent flashlights
Combines into one powerful flashlight
Each independent flashlight generates 20 lumens of light
Three 120 degree multi-directional rotating heads
Shatter resistant lens
ON/OFF switch turns all flashlights on or off when placed inside the tripod base
One-touch tripod release button
Bulbs: Three 0.5W LEDs last 100,000 hrs
Brightness: 60 Lumens (20×3 (combined))
Run time: 5 hrs
Beam distance: 375 feet / 115 meters
Requires 6 AA batteries (not included)
Dimensions: 10 1/2” (L) X 3” (W) X 3” (D)

Stanley Mini-Tripod Flashlight:

Petented tripod design offers hands-free convenience
Multi-position head focuses light precisely where it’s needed
On/Off Switch
Swivel key ring for convenience
Bulbs: One 5mm LEDs last 100,000 hrs
Brightness: 2 Lumens
Run time: 6 hours
Includes 3 replaceable lithium button cell batteries (LR41)
Dimensions: 3 1/2" (L) X 1" (W) X 1" (D)

Additional Photos:

In the box:

(2) Stanley 3-in-1 Tripod LED Flashlight 95-155
(2) Stanley MiniTripod Flashlight 95-113

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Flash In The Brainpan: Virtual Hamster

Mon, 08 Mar 2010 12:45:00 -0600

That's right, it's just that simple. Ripped from the pages of the always-cutting-edge deviantART.com, Virtual Hamster is a 21st Century hamster raising scenario.

And the combinations are limitless! Will you choose to withhold love and offer food instead? Will you choose constant sleep and no washing? Well, it doesn't really matter, because there are no long term consequences or repercussions or anything. Your hamster will just keep on sitting there and smiling adorably no matter what path you choose.

It's just too bad that the Virtual Hamster people didn't include a "punch his smug little face in" button because after a few minutes of his stupid needy staring, you'll be ready to slap the cute right off his face.

STOP STARING AT ME VIRTUAL HAMSTER! WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME? WHAT?

Miami Vice: The Complete Series Box Set

Woot — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 00:00:29 -0600

Vice

Sonny Justice was calm in his Ferrari, parked across the street from the hottest video store in town. It was almost time to move in.

Bathed in the blue light from the neon sign, Sonny gave his partner, Tubbs Purebottom, the nod. Tubbs didn’t answer right away. Sonny understood. He’d been in a flashback once or twice himself. He knew how it went.

In the office, months ago, Tubbs was talking to the new rookie, Carlotta, who was only twenty three. “Why is some stupid show that’s older than me so important to you guys?” Carlotta asked as Sonny chuckled to himself. “Who cares about owning the Complete Series of Miami Vice on DVD?”

Tubbs was so shocked at what she said, shocked that there was a whole generation that did not yet understand the importance of all five seasons of Miami Vice, that at first, he didn’t know just what to say. But he knew one thing about this feisty rookie: he was completely in love.

Sonny Justice understood what was going on in his partner’s head. All good cops had a flashback once in a while. It was part of the drama. Rookies, they just went after the case. They didn’t understand the style, the cars, the loafers with no socks. Rookies just didn’t understand how a 27 DVD set could be so vital to American popular culture. But Tubbs knew. And Sonny knew that he knew. That night the Columbians had left a bomb on Sonny’s boat and killed his pet crocodile, Tubbs had stopped in with a pizza and that really great first season episode with the ATF agent named Evan. Or the night Sonny’s wife had left him because she couldn’t handle the life of being the wife of a cop, Tubbs came right over, and the two men had a few beers and watched that really cool fourth season episode with Brian Dennehy as a post-modern televangelist, and it was all okay for a little while. Maybe Tubbs was even thinking about that night right now. Or maybe he was just thinking about-

”-Carlotta!” Tubbs exclaimed. “I know you’re young, but listen. Listen to me. Did you know that Dick Wolf from Law and Order cut his teeth working on Miami Vice? And did you know that the guy in charge of Battlestar Galactica, Edward James Olmos himself, played Lieutenant Castillo, head of the Miami Vice team? And did you know that there’d be no Grand Theft Auto: Vice City without this show? Think of how different the world would be without the ground-breaking phenomenon that was the Complete Series of Miami Vice!”

At the time, Tubbs Purebottom didn’t know if he’d gotten through to her, but now, he was sure that he had. Because while he was flashbacking, Sonny Justice had made the collar. And his suspect was… Carlotta. Her hair was loose, her dress pastel. She wore leg warmers, and her eyes were wild and desperate. She was clutching the Miami Vice Complete Collection DVD set to her chest. And, just like the anonymous tip had promised… they were three weeks overdue.

“Can’t… can’t I just watch them again? Officer? Can’t I… just watch one season again?” Carlotta stared blankly at Tubbs Purebottom. Tubbs stared back. She didn’t even recognize him. She was too far gone.

“You can’t blame yourself, pal,” said Sonny, pushing the tearful Carlotta down on the hood. “All you did was recommend a TV show. She made her own decision. It’s not your fault. You hear me, buddy? It’s not your fault.” Tubbs nodded back to his partner, but didn’t say a word. He was lost in his thoughts once more.

“Oh, Officer Purebottom,” Carlotta was saying. I didn’t become a cop to watch television. And besides, I probably won’t even watch the pilot.” Tubbs leaned across to Carlotta’s side of the bed and placed the remote in her hand.

“Go on, baby,” Tubbs whispered. “Just watch one episode and you’ll be hooked for life. You’ll see. It’s like a guilty pleasure. Miami Vice is such an addictive show.”

Carlotta sighed. “Okay, Tubbs Purebottom. I’ll try it. For you. Okay? Just because I love you.”

“I love you too, Carlotta,” Tubbs whispered back as the squad car drove away in slow motion. “I love you too.”

Features:

All 5 seasons of the Primetime Emmy Award-winning series on 27 DVD discs
All 111 episodes, approximately 89 hours and 57 minutes of Miami Vice
Go undercover with James ‘Sonny’ Crockett (Don Johnson) and Ricardo Tubbs (Philip Michael Thomas), two of the Vice Department’s coolest cops, as they take on the bad guys in Miami’s steamy underworld
Original songs are presented in 5.1 surround sound, featuring award-winning musical legends including Phil Collins, U2, Peter Gabriel, The Who, Aerosmith, Guns N’ Roses, The Cure, Public Enemy and more
Notable musicians appearing in the series include Sheena Easton, Willie Nelson, Gene Simmons, Ted Nugent, Glenn Frey, Frank Zappa, Phil Collins, Miles Davis, Frankie Valli, Little Richard, James Brown, Leonard Cohen, Isaac Hayes, Jan Hammer, Power Station, The Fat Boys and Eartha Kitt.
Guest appearances by Jimmy Smits, Ving Rhames, Liam Neeson, Lou Diamond Phillips, Bruce Willis, Ed O'Neill, Julia Roberts, Dean Stockwell, Pam Grier, Brian Dennehy, Dennis Farina, Stanley Tucci, Bill Paxton, Luis Guzmán, Kyra Sedgwick, Esai Morales, Wesley Snipes, John Turturro, Melanie Griffith, Michael Madsen, Nathan Lane, Laurence Fishburne, Ron Perlman, Lee Iacocca, Steve Buscemi, Don King, Vincent D'Onofrio, Annette Bening, Viggo Mortensen, John Leguizamo, Ben Stiller, Chris Rock, George Takei, Tommy Chong, Benicio del Toro, Richard Belzer, Penn Jillette, Randall "Tex" Cobb to name a few.

Extra Details:

Starring: Don Johnson, Philip Michael Thomas, Edward James Olmos
Language: English Dolby Digital 5.1
Approximate Run Time: 89 hours and 57 minutes
Subtitles: English SDH
Aspect ratio: Full frame 1.33:1
Region: 1
Number of Discs: 27
Studio: Universal Studios
Rating: Unrated

Disc 1 Bonus features:

The Vibe of Vice
Building the Perfect Vice
The Style of Vice
The Music of Vice
Miami After Vice

In the box:

Miami Vice Season 1 (6 Discs)
Miami Vice Season 2 (6 Discs)
Miami Vice Season 3 (5 Discs)
Miami Vice Season 4 (5 Discs)
Miami Vice Season 5 (5 Discs)
Faux Alligator skin Collectors Box

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Gateway 10.1” Netbook with 6 Cell Battery & Windows 7 Starter

Sun, 07 Mar 2010 00:00:28 -0600

I Can’t Believe They’re Making Me Work On My Birthday

No presents. No cake. There isn’t even anyone here. Sigh. Another year alone, I guess.

Well, to heck with everybody. I’ll throw my own birthday party. That’s right! In fact, I’m already throwing one with my two best friends, these refurbished red and black Gateway 10.1” Netbooks with Windows 7! They love me. They care about my special day. Isn’t that right, Mr. Black Gateway?

That’s right! We’d never leave the warehouse without your clever writeups and wonderful way with words. It’s fantastic people like you that love our 1.GHz Intel Atom Processor and 250 GB SATA hard drives, and we just wanted to show you how much we appreciate you on the day you were born! So, get ready to party, ‘cause these 6-Cell Lithium Ion provide us hours of birthday fun!

Awww. Thanks, Mr. Black Gateway. That was so sweet of you to say. What’s that, Mr. Red Gateway? Did you want to say something?

I sure did! Those other people that forgot your birthday are just jerks. It doesn’t take an Integrated Webcam to see just what an integral part you play in the inner workings of this business. Why, I want to broadcast just how awesome you are live on the Internet via my 802.11b/g Wi-Fi networking or 10/100 Ethernet LAN! We can even save all the pictures on to a memory card with my Multi-in-1 Digital Media Card Reader so that the memories last a good long time!

Gee, you guys are the best. Who needs real friends and co-workers who forget the most important day of my year when I have you guys to keep me company just like the voices in my head!

Wait! What’s that noise? Someone’s coming into the office! Gasp! I bet it’s a surprise party! They didn’t want me to come in to do writeups! They planned a surprise party just for ME! Okay, don’t let on. Gotta remember to act surprised. Here they come.

OMG YOU GUYS REMEM-

Oh, it’s the just you, Mr. Janitor. Didn’t mean to scare you. Well, a surprise birthday urinal cake is better than no cake at all, I guess.

Authorized for SquareTrade Extended Warranty

Warranty: 90 Day Gateway

Features:

Intel Atom Processor N270 (1.6GHz, 533MHz FSB, 512KB L2 Cache)
10.1” SD WSVGA High Brightness LED-backlit Display (1024×600 resolution)
1024MB DDR2 533MHz SDRAM Single Channel Memory
250GB SATA hard drive
802.11b/g Wi-Fi CERTIFIED
6-Cell Lithium Ion (5200mAh)
Intel Graphics Media Accelerator 950 and Mobile Intel® 945GSE Express Chipset
3 USB 2.0 ports with a VGA Connector
Multi-in-1 Digital Media Card Reader (Memory Stick, Memory Stick Pro, MultiMediaCard, Secure Digital, xD-Picture Card)
10/100 Ethernet LAN (RJ-45 port)

Specifications:

Processor: Intel Atom Processor N270 (1.6GHz, 533MHz FSB, 512KB L2 Cache)
Operating System: Genuine Windows 7 Starter
Display: 10.1” SD WSVGA High Brightness LED-backlit Display (1024×600 resolution)
Memory: 1024MB DDR2 533MHz SDRAM Single Channel Memory
Hard Drive: 250GB SATA hard drive
Wireless Network: 802.11b/g Wi-Fi CERTIFIED
Power Adapter: AC Adapter
Application Software: Microsoft Works, Microsoft Money Essentials, Microsoft Office Home and Student 2007 (60-day complimentary trial period)
Battery: 6-Cell Lithium Ion (5200mAh)
Chassis: Chassis with Intel Graphics Media Accelerator 950 and Mobile Intel 945GSE Express Chipset
Dimensions (System): 1.03” (H) x 10.17” (W) x 8.04” (D) or 26.4mm (H) x 258.5mm (W) x 204mm (D)
External Ports: (3) USB 2.0, VGA Connector
Keyboard and Mouse: Keyboard with Multi-Gesture Touchpad
Media Card Reader: Multi-in-1 Digital Media Card Reader (Memory Stick, Memory Stick Pro™, MultiMediaCard, Secure Digital, xD-Picture Card)
Network: 10/100 Ethernet LAN (RJ-45 port)
Security Software: Norton Internet Security 2009 (60-day trial) & Gateway Recovery Management
Sound: High-Definition Audio Support, Built-In speakers, Microphone, Headphone (with Dolby Headphone Technology)/Speaker/Line-Out Jack
Web Camera: Integrated Webcam
Weight: 2.95 lbs. (1.33 kg) system unit only / 3.26 lbs. (1.48 kg.) box

Additional Photos:

In the box:

Gateway 10.1” Netbook
Power Adapter
6 Cell Battery

Photo inset credit: myklroventine
Photo inset credit: thekbriodys

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